Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
