wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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