Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
