Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
