I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
