She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize