Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
