You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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