There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
