rhymes with "ouble enetration"
accomplished twins. life is a go
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
