I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
