He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize