We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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