Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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