Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Bring me that man meat
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
