its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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