pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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