he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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