Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
