I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My ATM looks so different sober.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
