so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She even gives head with a lisp.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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