No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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