does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
