i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize