Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
