He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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