I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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