I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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