mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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