Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
