Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
