dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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