so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
