Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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