i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize