He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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