it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
