yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
