whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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