You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
