i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize