these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I didn't notice because vodka
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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