Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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