Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
