No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
