If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
