I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
