I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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