my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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