walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize