Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
