I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
