the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize