i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Can you repeat that, but with context?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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