He uses pillows to masturbate.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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