I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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