I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
