the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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