five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
