the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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