Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
