dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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