Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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