fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
