I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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