I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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