Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I wear drunk well.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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