your room smells of hookers.
And success
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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