Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
